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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123589">this bond is breaking us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lee_EyeSmile/pseuds/Lee_EyeSmile'>Lee_EyeSmile</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Confrontations, Doyoung is in love, M/M, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmates, and so is taeyong, cheating but not really, the soulmate bond allow them to read each others mind</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:22:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,340</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27123589</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lee_EyeSmile/pseuds/Lee_EyeSmile</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“So, if there was any way, you would actually choose to not be my soulmate?”<br/>(...)<br/>“I never asked to be chosen, Taeyong.”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>this bond is breaking us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The prompt was "Person A: I never asked to be chosen!" and my mind immediately went to soulmates.<br/>Hope you enjoy it! </p><p>- I put a tag mentioning cheating, but its a really small portion of the story and its just briefly mentioned. It was also not consensual on one part. -</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They sit in front of each other on the table at the living room. The tension in the air is so thick we could pull up the old saying that “it could be cut with a knife”.<br/>
“So. Where do even start?” Taeyong asks.<br/>
Doyoung remains quiet, while looking at his hands that are placed on his lap.<br/>
Taeyong doesn´t push over and just waits.<br/>
The ticking in the clock is telling him that time is passing by, and by looking at the machine he could precise it to 18 minutes since they got home.<br/>
43 seconds later Doyoung finally speaks up. “Aren´t you tired of this?”<br/>
A sigh is the reply he gets, but soon is followed by “Of course I am. How could I not? You know I hate fighting. For fucks sake, you can literally read my mind.”<br/>
“Well, then you also know I don´t want to.”<br/>
“Then why do you start them?”. Taeyong’s voice is starting to raise up.<br/>
“Am I the one starting one now?” The other retaliates.<br/>
It´s not that they want to be this sour towards each other, but it´s all build up from the other times and it´s almost impossible to contain it.<br/>
They know it needs to get to an end. Be it in a good or a bad way. Of course, they will try for the good one, but they are so drained, they are not sure if they have the energy for it.<br/>
“Don’t. That’s so unfair, because you know that we need to talk this out.” Taeyong threads his fingers through his hair. “If we have to fight one last time, so be it.”<br/>
Doyoung scoffs. “You are saying I’m the one being unfair? Try having your soulmate hiding stuff from you, but don’t even succeeding because of this stupid system.”<br/>
“You know why I did it…” The older tries.<br/>
“But it was so stupid! What was the point, Taeyong? You couldn’t avoid thinking about it infinitely. Specially that.” Doyoung pauses for a moment and then proceeds. “I wouldn’t be mad at you for what happened, I just wanted you tell me. To trust me.”<br/>
Taeyong was finally accepted into the record label of his dreams half a year ago. There, he was well received by all his co-workers, specially by one of his seniors. He was always an affectional person, and would warm up to people quite quickly, as it happened with Baekhyun. Doyoung knows his boyfriend never nurtured romantic feelings for his co-worker, but the same couldn’t be said about the other part, as after various failed attempts Baekhyun decided to be straight forward and confess to Taeyong, even going as far as to kiss him.<br/>
“I’m sorry it hurt you. I’m so sorry. Please”. He put emphasis on the ‘please’ “Tell me what we can do to fix this. What can I do?”<br/>
“Honestly?” Doyoung asks receiving a firm nod. “I don’t know. I want to trust you again, but I don’t know how.”<br/>
“But do you want to try?” Taeyong almost pleads.<br/>
He doesn’t dare to reach for the other’s hands, afraid to overwhelm him.<br/>
Doyoung sighs and reaches himself. That and the thoughts that are not his on his head is the response Taeyong was hoping for.<br/>
“It just sucks that I already know all the answers to my questions. This stupid soulmate bond doesn’t even allow me to be properly mad at you.” He looks at Taeyong, avoiding his eyes immediately. “This sounds terrible and tremendously selfish, I know, but I feel robbed”<br/>
“Please tell me you don’t actually think that, Doyoung.”<br/>
“Don’t try to fool yourself, you know I do. The fact that I understand what you did even before we had a serious talk about it made all this worse. It didn’t allow me to have a moment to think about all of this without feeling guilty. And now, here we are.”<br/>
It hurts hearing that.<br/>
They stare at their intertwining hands for some moments<br/>
“But do you regret being my soulmate?” Taeyong tries once again. 
Maybe he likes the pain, and just found out he is a masochist, because there’s no other explanation for his persistence on the topic.<br/>
“Sort of yes.”<br/>
“Yes or no, Doyoung?”<br/>
“You already know it.” At that moment he takes his hand away.<br/>
“Say it. Out loud.” Taeyong looks for Doyoung’s eyes and maintains the eye contact.<br/>
They just stare at each other for a while, both annoyed, hurt and the tiredness still so present.<br/>
“Yes! Is that what you wanted to hear? Aren’t my loud thoughts enough? Because for sure yours are”<br/>
He sits back on the chair waiting for some response, but not hearing any he continues.<br/>
“Do you think I wanted to be in this situation? Of course not! It’s not even the first time, Taeyong!”. He almost screams the last part, causing the other to shiver slightly. “We’ve been in separate rooms almost all the time these past weeks, so you probably didn’t pick it up, but it’s a constant thought.”<br/>
Taeyong finally does something. He gets up and paces around a little bit over the room but soon he is back, leaning on the table with his head down.<br/>
When he looks up, it’s with a very serious and hurtful tone that he asks<br/>
“So, if there was any way, you would actually choose to not be my soulmate?”<br/>
“Exactly. Not because I don’t love you. You know how much I do. Precisely because I love you too much. And as much as I loved the system before, I learned to hate it.” Doyoung also gets up and approaches Taeyong, but just like the other was with his consciousness earlier, he doesn’t dare to touch him yet.<br/>
“I never asked to be chosen, Taeyong.”<br/>
With that sentence, Taeyong crumbles. Tears start to roll down and soon his is shaking.<br/>
Those type of words are hurtful for their bond. It won’t break, it won’t weaken, but the pain is real, and it does leave some marks.<br/>
Doyoung also feels it, but he still goes on.<br/>
“I never asked to be chosen as your soulmate, but I did commit to be your lover and best friend, and that was a conscious choice, which I actually don’t regret.”<br/>
Taeyong founds himself now sat with his head in between his hands, sobbing uncontrollably.<br/>
“Please don’t leave me” He beg.<br/>
Doyoung hugs him tight against his chest.<br/>
“I won’t. I won’t ever. But because I love you, and not because of our soulmate bond. You were right, we needed to have this conversation sooner or later and it did hurt. And baby, as much as it hurts you, it hurts me too.”<br/>
Hearing that, Taeyong cries harder, shaking his head. He tries to speak but the hiccups are too hard. “No – You – hurt. It’s m-my f-fau-fau-lt.”<br/>
“Shhhh, my love. It’s okay. I’m in peace with it now. We will have to talk a little bit more later, but for now, I want you to try and breath. As I said before, I know your reasons. We will work this together.”<br/>
Doyoung keeps reassuring the other with comforting touches and whispering soft nothings into Taeyong’s ear, helping him calm down, until he can only hear the sniffle.<br/>
“I don’t blame you, honey. I never did. I just wanted you to trust us. We need communication to work. Verbal communication, not just our thoughts. That’s just fun when we are with our friends.” They both chuckle at that.<br/>
“I h-hated this period so much. I just wanted to hug you and never let go. It was so c-cold, Doyoung.”<br/>
“I know. I felt it too. But it’s over isn’t it? We are going to be better for our relationship and work on the flaws we encountered. We can do this baby!”<br/>
And Taeyong knows Doyoung believes on his own words, as he hears a soft ‘We can, and we will’ on his mind, the one he shares with his lover.</p>
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